Jump seats are a true enigma. It can be a savoir or a curse. I've rode the jumpseat many, many times. When I was flying in the Cayman's, a Republic Airlines Captain was nice enough to give me the jumpseat on his DC-9 leaving the Cayman's, saving my butt. There is also proper jumpseat etiquette. Some people think that with a jumpseat pass you get to ride in this cool new airliner cockpit. Wrong! You only get to ride the jumpseat if (a) the Captain invites you, which isn't happening if you're not a personal friend, or (b) every seat in the back is full. You see, pilots like to be left alone when doing their job, and a jumpseat passenger is simply an invitation to doing something really stupid. The jumpseat has allowed me to visit some cool cockpits though. I have a lot of time riding in the DC-3 jumpseat. Too many hours in a DC-9 jumpseat. Rode the jumpseat of a 747-400 (brand new, just delivered to NWA) and had a First Class breakfast served to me. But that was once. All the other times were much different.
I rode the jumpseat on an Airborne Express DC-9 one night out of Wilmington OH. It was around 5 am and I was so tired I was more asleep than awake as we started our takeoff roll. We rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled... and I opened my eyes to see nothing but red runway lights as the nose came up and we took off. Whoa! Later I asked about it and they said the loadmaster would stop adding up weight when he reached the maximum. Didn't stop loading, just stopped adding the weights.
One afternoon we departed Hibbing MN when I worked at Northwest Airlink, and flew south to Minneapolis. An FAA guy came up and said he'd like to observe us from the jumpseat. Sigh. So Kent was the FO and it's his leg. All went fairly well until we got near Minneapolis. We were told to cross a particular intersection at 7000', something we do every single time we fly this route. Every. Single. Time. So today Kent is descending at a leisurely rate and despite my subtle hints managed to cross the intersection 500' high. Nice going Kent. Plus he set off the overspeed warning like ten times during the descent. Then on landing he crosses the end of the runway twenty knots too fast, floats forever and we finally turn off more than three quarters of the way down the eight thousand foot long runway. Aaugh!
As a First Officer I was flying with Jim Hadstate when a Northwest 747 Captain came up and asked for the jumpseat to Duluth. We took off with flaps set to 15 degrees, which was normal SOP at the time. During climb, passing 5000', I am mortified to discover the flaps are still at 15! As professionally as I can, I say to Jim, "5000 feet. Flaps up?" "Uh, flaps up," he replied. Of course we weren't fooling anyone. Your chances of doing something stupid grows by a factor of 100 with someone in the jumpseat.
Another FAA fellow did a line check on us going to Eau Claire, the shortest route we had. That SOB talked constantly during the trip, blah blah blah. We were however being very careful not to do any unnecessary talking below 10,000' which is a bad thing in the eyes of the FAA. But this fool wouldn't shut up. We ignored him but he just kept on blabbing. Later, at the gate, he said "Good job. You want to be careful though about talking below 10,000'. It's against the regs, but I'll overlook it this time." I was grinding my teeth.
When you can fly for free, everyone in your family expects you to attend every single family function, no matter how small or trivial. "You fly for free, right? So what's the problem?" I would ride between Minneapolis and Boston, which was a very popular route, i.e., planes always full. And they were both crew bases, so guess what? The jumpseat is always taken by a commuting Northwest pilot. Flying non-rev is the worst. Everybody, and I mean even a flight attendant from Thailand, is senior to you when you want to non-rev someplace. I've been bumped from flights more times than I care to remember.
Sometimes it was good though. I rode a Northwest DC-10 jumpseat to Boston once and we had a blast up front. The Captain had some great stories. At the gate the first officer asked what I was flying. "I don't know yet, probably a Jetstream," I replied. He thought about that a moment then turned to the captain and said "Hey Jim, what's a Jetstream?" Jim replied with a wave of his hand, "Light twin." Sigh. Well, technically I guess it was. Small potatoes compared to this DC-10. They decided to start an engine for some AC being as it was a hot August afternoon. The Captain picked up the handset but the ground crew wasn't paying attention. "Christ! They're just standing there," he says looking outside. He slides open his big side window, stands up and leans out and, right in front of the boarding passengers yells down to them, "HEY! We want to start a fucking engine!" Next we pushed back into the taxiway and the FO says "Oh crap, I forgot to call for clearance to push back." "Just call them like you had permission," the Captain said. ATC still scolded him for blocking the taxiway though. It probably happened because I was in the jumpseat. Later we were climbing out and ATC called out a 737 as traffic to us and the FO asks the Captain "What are we looking for?" and the captain replied, "Light twin."
One day on my own flight, the gate boarded 34 people. Problem was, we only had 33 seats. The flight Attendant came up and told me this, said two people had the same seat assignment. I told her to go see if anyone was a pilot. She gets on the PA, "Does anyone know how to fly a plane?" One guy holds up his hand and comes up front. "I own a Piper down at Anoka County Airport," he said. I called inside, told them the problem but there was a Northwest pilot on board so could we... "Yes, yes! Just go!" I turned to the private pilot and said "If you're willing to be a Northwest Captain for an hour, I'll let you ride up here." Heck yeah!
To ride jumpseat you usually go in uniform. And if there is a seat open in back, you always grab that. Which means I would often be sitting in coach and some yahoo would sit down and ask "Heh heh, you a pi-lot?" This was followed by five minutes explaining who Airlink was, another fifteen minutes explaining what a Saab 340 was, followed by twenty minutes of listening to his puddle jumper horror stories. Every time! Until one day a guy sat down next to me on a Northwest DC-9 flight to Boston. "Heh, heh, you a pi-lot?"
"Yep."
"Who do you fly for?"
"Northwest."
"What do you fly?"
"This, a DC-9."
"Do you like it?"
"Eh, its a job."
"I hear ya," and with that he didn't bother me at all the rest of the flight. Genius! After that, whoever I was on, whatever I was in, that was who I flew for and what I fly. The result is always the same. You can also say you fly for UPS. Everyone knows them but knows very little about cargo flying. "Eh, its a job."
I flew in a 727 jumpseat only once, which was kinda surprising. It was Northwest from Memphis to Minneapolis. On landing the Captain hammered, I mean slammed that thing into the pavement. Probably because I was in the jumpseat. I felt bad. No one said a word, it was dead silent. As we started to taxi to the gate the First Officer finally says, "Well, we certainly dissipated a lot of energy on that one." This broke the tension and made even the Captain laugh.
Jumpseated home on one of our Saabs one day with Bob. Forget his last name. We filled up, took off and climbed out normally. Then I noticed the fuel gauges and said, "Wow, Bob, 4000 lbs of fuel. That's a lot of fuel." Which is about 1000 lbs more than we could take, so we actually took off half a ton over gross. He sighed. "Yeah, I know. I forgot we were full out of here and topped it off in MSP." I said "Well I appreciate you not bumping me off. She sure did climb well enough though." It did too. Took off and climbed out like we were empty. Well, almost empty.
Yes, the jumpseat is both a blessing and a curse. It's also the most uncomfortable chair you have ever, ever sat in. Unless its a brand new 747-400 with a First Class breakfast.
